Epic Abritrary
by Jezmaiya
Summary: The world must hate him. First he wakes up with this tattoo on his hand that he can't get rid of (even by wax), then the most popular girl at Seirin talks to him and tricks him into summoning this other girl, who apparently is his servant now, and has to live with him. What's worse, now every guy seems to be calling him for advise on how to get such a hot girl to call him master...
1. Chapter 1

**My fingers are flowing with ideas, so here goes, please enjoy and I do not own Kuroko No Basket or any Type-Moon anime like Fate/Zero or Stay Night.**

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He had woke up with it, a sort of tattoo on the front of his hand. He had tried to scrub it off, but it didn't seem to come off at all, nothing he tried seemed to make it come off. He even waxed his hand. Despite how painful it was, and how smooth his hand now felt, the red marking didn't seem to disappear at all. So, when Monday came, he couldn't care less about it anymore and simply decided to go to school.

Kagami stared at his hand, "When did you get a tattoo?" Asked his light, staring at the strange markings that decorated his shadow's hand. Kagami's never seen a tattoo like it before, most people would get some sort of animal, or words with meaning but all he saw was red markings. They resembled the shape of angel wings distorted, two large wings and a star in the middle of both the wings. "I didn't know you were so religious..." He told his shadow.

"I'm not," Kagami cried out as he felt a jab to the side, wincing. "I woke up with this on Saturday." He told his basketball partner. "I didn't choose the design."

Kagami stared at it. "Did you try washing it off?"

"I did everything. I even waxed." Kagami snickered, covering his mouth with hand.

"You waxed?"

"It hurts," said Kuroko, blandly causing the taller teen to laugh even more.

From a far, a pair of grey eyes stared at the walking duo. Her eyes narrowed on the shorter boy's hand, his palm. Her eyes moved back to her own hand, where a similar matching tattoo rested. A smile found its way onto her lips, she had an idea.

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**There you go, reviews are appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad that some people are interested in this story, so thank you **

** ───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ──── And here is the second chapter!**

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"Hello," he looked up from his book and stared at Ema Tosaka, Seirin's first year Student Council President, and the current ranked #1 student at Seirin. To add more to her popularity, there was also the factor that Ema was quite a looker. Pallid skin, pink tinted cheeks and wide grey eyes with a shade of green tinted within them.

Kuroko looked around his classroom, where everybody seemed to be staring at him and Ema, the girl stood in front of his desk. Even Kagami was staring, his mouth slightly gaped, a burger sticking out of his mouth. "Hello..." He quietly replied.

Ema smiled at him warmly, "Can I talk you, Tetsuya-kun?" She asked, ushering for him to follow her with a finger. "In private." She added, Kuroko stood up awkwardly as he began to follow her. For a moment, his eyes briefly met with his light's. Kagami sent him a thumbs up, he didn't know why and probably didn't want to know. He followed Ema to the Student Council room, where she led him to her office. The girl locked the door behind her, "Do you know what that mark on palm means, Tetsuya?" She asked lowly.

Kuroko stiffened as he stared at Ema cautiously, his eyes fell to her palm where a similar mark was, a different design adorned her skin. "You have one."

"It means the Holy Grail sees you as a worthy master," said Ema, ignoring Kuroko's words. She walked over to him. "The Holy Grail is a bloody war that only appears every ten years, and the previous location for the war had always been Fuyuki City but times have changed. Tokyo City is now the new location of the war and you are one of seven masters." She told him, a smile on her lips.

Kuroko was silent for a moment before he spoke. "I'm sorry, but did you say war, Tohsaka-San?" He asked.

"Yes, a fight to the death."

"Can I forfeit then?"

Ema blinked at him, she was... Taken back. Most people would kill for a chance like this, many mages can only dream of participating in this war and this... Human wanted nothing to do with it. She smiled, interesting. "Alright then, I'll help you get rid of the mark then. Stand over the circle." Kuroko looked down and stared at a magic circle beneath him, the circle seemed to be drawn from... Silver. How did the school allow such an expensive decoration, he didn't know but he obliged, taking a step into the circle before looking back up at Ema. "Now repeat after me," Her mouth began to move, but the blue haired teen heard no sounds. He know how but he still knew what she was saying.

_**"Let silver and steel be the essence.**_

_**Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation.**_

_**Let red be the color I pay tribute to.**_

_**Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall.**_

_**Let the four cardinal gates close.**_

_**Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate." The circle and the mark on his palm began glowing. His eyes widened, was this it?**_

_**"Let it be filled. Again. Again. Again. Again.**_

**Let it be filled fivefold for every turn, simply breaking asunder with every filling."** He said.

Ema's lips paused for a moment before it moved once more. His followed exactly what she said, _**"A servant that is..."**_

_'What do you look for in a person?'_ He heard her voice whisper in his ear._ 'What_ _qualities?'_

Kuroko closed his eyes, "A person that is strong, and loyal. Someone that would never turn their back on their friends." He said. Images of the Generation of Miracles flickered through his mind.

The light intensified as it brightened before a sudden figure seemed to appear from the circle on the ground. His eyes widened as he fell to the ground, landing on his bum as the figure turned to him. "Are you my master?"


	3. Chapter 3

Magic was pure fiction. It did not exist, no. It does not exist at all. That's exactly what it is, yet, why does it exist?

Kuroko walked in silence to the school gym where basketball practice was being held today, eyes seemed to stare at him, or rather behind him. She followed closely behind him, her heels tapping lightly against the ground, her long black skirt swaying about. She stared at his back with cool blue eyes, a smirk upon her red painted lips. She didn't have any intention of leaving him alone anytime soon. "You know, no matter how much you ignore me, I'll still be here." Her voice rang out to him as he approached the boy's changing room, opening the door to walk in before promptly slamming it in her face.

'She wouldn't dare come in here,' mused Kuroko, his teal eyes scanning over his changing teammates. He was clearly mistaken.

The door flew open before something clearly heavy was pressed to the back of his head, her arms engulfed him tightly as weight rested on his head. He wasn't pleased to hearing the voice of his captor, "Master why do you do this to me?" She had dared to enter.

The results were disastrous. Being semi nude basketballers, with no exposure to girls nor dating, they did the only logical thing they knew: they screamed, charging out of their changing room. The cry alerted their Coach, Aida Riko who immediately came storming in herself.

Kuroko felt the weight behind his head disappear, the arms around him seem to change and harden becoming more muscular. Riko had taken one step into the room before blood began to dripping down her nose. "Sorry for the disturbance but can you leave us alone?" A deeper and masculine voice spoke, teal eyes widened as he turned to see a male behind him. Correction, a naked male. Riko didn't reply before the girl herself fainted to the ground, her cheeks red tinted.

Kuroko took that opportunity to leave, dragging the naked male along with him into the bathroom. He locked the door and turned to the male, or so he thought. When he turned around, he saw a girl from before instead. "How do you do that?" Asked the teal haired teen.

"Do what, master?" The girl battered her eyes lashes at him flirtatiously. "Or would you rather me like this?" Her body shifted before turning male, his clothing in a similar to its female counterpart. "But I'm going to make one thing clear: I am never under. I always top." The eccentric male blew him a kiss, Kuroko restrained a shudder as he brought a hand to cover his face.

Of course, if it was going to be male, it would be a perverted male. "Do you have a name?"

The male laughed before shifting back into a female, "I don't have a specific name, but in the Holy Grail War, I am classified as an Archer, so you can call me that." She preformed a little bow to him. "A pleasure to met you master, Kuroko Tetsuya."

"And your gender?"

"Not specified but if you swing the other way, I don't mind being a male."

"How can I get rid of you?" Asked Kuroko, bluntly.

Archer placed a hand on her chest, "Why would you do that master? Don't you want to win the Holy Grail and fulfil your greatest desire?" She asked seductively, leaning into him. He stood still.

"No."

She sighed, "Fine," she admitted grudgingly. "The only way to get rid of me is for you to die because I can't die, my soul will continually use your mana to heal any injuries inflicted on my person as long you're alive."

He took her words in, they sunk into his mind before he turned away from and stormed out of the gym. He had to find Tohsaka.


	4. Chapter 4

The fight began the moment Kuroko took a step into the Student Council office. Within a second, a blonde haired servant launched herself at the teal haired master, her sword out and ready to kill. What happened next seemed to catch everyone of guard.

Archer had suddenly appeared, pushing the boy behind her as she pulled out a black gun attached to a chain as she blocked the on coming attack. There weapon's clashed, the sword leaving not a single mark on the surface of Archer's black gun. The servants jumped back before the blonde servant grabbed a gold rope attached to her belt and began charging forward. Archer grabbed the carpet beneath her, pulling it towards her, catching the servant off guard as she dropped her sword and rope. The colour of the carpet seemed to fade to black as Archer pulled at her grip, yanking the servant forward as the material wrapped itself around her body, binding her before Archer placed her gun firmly to her forehead. "Who are you?" Asked the blonde haired servant.

Archer's expressions didn't change as she removed the safety mechanism from her gun. "No one special." She replied.

"Don't kill her, Archer," said Kuroko who found his voice. "I think she's Tohsaka's servant."

"She is," said Ema, the girl stood up from her desk and came around to approach Kuroko. A black circle formed in the air behind Kuroko, a black gun, identical to the one Archer held materialised, it's aim pointed at Ema. "Archers always did have a strong independence." Mused the gem mage.

The safety mechanism for the gun in the air unlocked, the servant within Archer's grasp trashed about. The blonde threw a heated glare at Archer. "Glare all you want, I'll blow your brains out one way or another." She told the servant.

"Archer, stand down." Kuroko told her once more. The servant didn't move but the gun in the air disappeared, she pulled her gun away from the servant's forehead as she released her grip of the carpet, the colour returning to its original colour. The blonde servant bounced back, grabbing her sword.

**Bang**.

She shot her leg as the servant fell back, landing on her arse before she sat up and glaring at the Archer.

Kuroko stared at his servant who shrugged back at him, "Sorry, my hand slipped." Stated Archer before her fingers quickly reacts once more, planting two more bullets into the blonde warrior's other leg.

One moment she was flirting with him, teasing him, the next -she was a cold hearted murderer. Who was she?

Ema went to her servant's side, the blood suddenly stopped flowing out from the bullet wounds as the girl examined the wounds. "You cut off Saber's magic circuits," said Ema, staring up at the servant in black. "Your bullets are anti-magic guns aren't they?"

Archer didn't reply, "It's common in my line of work." Replied the girl after a brief moment of silence.

Ema stood up, Saber stood protectively in front of her. The pain was no longer there but the wound wasn't completely healed as Saber was furious that she was unable to use her abilities. The impact of the wound to her circuits had cut her off from her magic source, she was unable to fully use her magic abolites, she only grateful that her noble phantasm remained unaffected. "Who are you really? Your identity?" Asked Ema, her eyes serious.

Archer moved to stand in front of Kuroko, she slipped her gun back onto the slit on her thigh that he hadn't noticed before. "Telling would be revealing my weaknesses." She told her. "You're lucky my master intervened, or else both of you would be kicking the bucket by now." Taunted Archer. Saber seemed to be getting more and more furious by the second, her hand moving to pull out her sword once again. Archer smirked, "I wouldn't even think about pulling our your sword, _Hippoltya _of theAmazon."

Saber and Ema's eyes widened. "How did you know her identity?" Asked Ema, stunned.

Archer didn't reply, instead she grabbed ahold of Kuroko's hand. Her black skirt seemed to float up, engulfing the both of them in a black sphere. When her skirt dropped back down, they were on the roof now. Kuroko stared at her, his eyes wider than usual. "How did you do that?"

"Master, are you mentally retarded or something?" Asked Archer bluntly, completely ignoring the question he sent toward her.

Kuroko was silent, "No."

"Really because I don't think walking into another master's territory was a smart thing to do." Said Archer, running a hand through her black hair. "Honestly, do you want to die so badly?"

Kuroko stared at her, "Who are you? Your real identity. With those skills, you can't be a nobody."

Archer sighed in defeat, she guessed it was bound to happen sooner or later. "I don't come from the present nor the past, in fact, I'm from an altered future." Said the servant. "I have many names and I would rather not say my real name but I was known as the Magnus Hunter. I basically kill mages for a living."

He'll be honest, he didn't expect that answer at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own anything.**

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It was Saturday, and the teal haired boy stood outside a shop he never wanted to be seen in front of: make-a-bra store. One moment his servant was lost in her world, the next she was cheerful and bubbly, demanding for new clothes. Hence, his Saturday gone. Just like that. He stood grimly outside beneath the bright neon pink sign where a model of a large red bra hung to over emphasize the purpose of the shop if the white wording on the sign had not made it clear enough, he was only glad that his low presences hid him rather well as he merged into the walls of the exterior he leaned against. His servant had ran inside, along with his pocket money not too long ago, her happiness bubbling about. It horrified him how bipolar she was, able to change her personality with a simple snap of a finger, yet it also warned him of the dangers of how easily she could become a cold hearted killer. A killer that could turn on him. He sighed to himself before he felt a bump by his shoulder, someone had walked into him, typical. Even against a wall someone could still run into him. "Oh sorry," the person said, black hair, pale face and tall, it was Kaijo's desperado: Moriyama. He seemed stunned for a moment, glancing about to find no one. He shrugged before he was about to walk, only to be rudely stopped by that loud power forward's bursting exclamation.

"I saw that Senpai! Being a pervert and staring into that bra shop." He loudly declared for the entire street to know. Moriyama's jaw dropped, Kuroko had to pity him, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. "And right before a mixer!" His words were jumbled as they normally would, Kuroko didn't truly understand him, nor did the other innocent pedestrians passing by but from the way he pointed at Moriyama, who spotted pink tinted specks in cheeks back to the bra shop, it was easy to deduce the meaning of his broken words. 'Pervert', it was the label Kuroko was certain that was floating in everybody's mind right now. He didn't doubt it for a second.

Moriyama responded embarrassedly, his hands flying about at his failed attempt at hushing the loud Kouhai. "No, it's not what you think, I could have swore that I bumped into somebody." He told the brunette who had narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, his expression showing that he did not believe him. Perhaps this day was not going to be a waste after all, Kuroko mused. His entertainment was right before him.

"So you say..."

"I'm not joking, besides what kind of Prince Charming would selfishly peek on an innocent young woman enjoying her youth?" Moriyama declared, his finger pointing into the bra shop, not helping his situation at all as he waved his hands and clasped, and unclasped his fingers to emphasize his point. Whispers of a pervert began to arise around him. He had failed to make his point, it had only heightened the opposite effect he desired.

There was a ding before Kuroko felt suffocated, "Master! Look at what I made." Kami forgive him for mentally dying and wishing to wither away in a hole despite his deadpan expression, all Kuroko wanted to do right now was disappear. And he would have if the said servant was not standing before him, smiling as she held out her atrocious creation. At that moment, he had come to two conclusions about her: **1\. She was a killer. 2. She had no thoughts or morals to even care about the consequences of her actions, especially when they inflict upon him out of all people.**

"Seirin's phantom!" Moriyama declared, staring at him. "And a beauty, in a maid outfit!" His fingers pointed to Archer.

"Ah! A cosplayer!" Hayakawa exclaimed beside Moriyama. "No wait, she called you Master." The inner cranking of his minds formulating and putting together ideas as his cheeks got redder, and redder. Whatever his thoughts were, words were not needed to explain what he was thinking, his nosebleed did enough for him.

Archer shrugged before wrapping her arms around his shoulder, "Master, we really need to go home and rest." She told him, smirking as her eyes flickered to the people around then. Oh she knew exactly what she was doing. She just didn't care, typical.

Kuroko grumbled lowly beneath his breath, pushing her off forcefully as he began to trudge away from the shop, Archer trailing behind him, a chirpy smile on her face with a skip in her step.

Moriyama's hand grabbed his phone before he quickly snapped a photograph of the fleeting duo before he uploaded it to his blog:

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** THE FETISH - your daily dose of female beauties (ALL DAY AND EVERYDAY!)  
**

**Log 18#**

_**SEIRIN'S PHANTOM MAN** has a babe! Not only does she wear a **maid** costume for him, she calls him master too. AND **THEY LIVE TOGETHER**! What a man! We need to learn from this guy. _

_Hashtag: #Maid #Seirin #Phantom #babe #shocker_

_Comments:_

**_Cutiepie_copycat: NO! That can't be Kurokocchi! That would mean he's cheating on Momoicchi!_**

**_Onlyonewhocanbeatmeis_me: DAMN TETSU! THAT'S ONE FINE CHICK!_**

**_The_Emperor: ..._**

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**Please feel free to review :)  
**


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